Hey everyone! I know my blog posts have been MIA for a little while but I am going to start them again. These last couple of weeks were interesting, I stayed up for almost 48 hours straight for the first time ever, I rocked all of my finals, I had the best birthday EVER, and I got to go home for a week. Now I'm just waiting for Orientation to start!
I have made some amazing friends since I came here in August. My best friend here on campus, Karli, who gave me permission to talk about her in my blog, coordinated the best surprise party for me EVER. It was so nice to get together with my friends and just have fun and drink butter beer (which is a non-alcoholic mixture of cream soda and yummy goodness for those of you who aren't Harry Potter fans) and eat red velvet cake. She even made a video for me that you can see on my facebook that had me in tears. I have the most wonderful friends here, and I love every single one of them so much. My friends mean the world to me. And again, thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday so special, and thank you to Karli who is one of the coolest gals I know!
So finals week was interesting, I ended up scoring very well on all my finals and I couldn't be much happier with my grades this semester. I worked so hard this semester, and I'm proud to say that it paid off. This last semester I learned so much about myself, time management, and my own personal capabilities. But that doesn't mean it didn't come with a price. I've learned how my body responds to stress as far as academics go. My Chemistry and Trigonometry exams were scheduled for the same day, and I had to turn in a paper at the day before, so I only slept a total of 5 hours between Saturday morning and Sunday night. Yikes! I would try and sleep, but when I closed my eyes all I could see was triangles and chemical equations and graphs about the one child policy in China. Because of this, I did learn that counting sheep at night actually helps me fall asleep, it keeps my mind concentrated on something other than my exams. I'm pretty sure I started to get delusional after I finished my chemistry exam, so I went to my room and slept for a good 12 hours. It was intense, but I did it, and I closed out my freshmen year with a bang!
After finals, I was able to go home for a week and spend some time with my family. The longer I am away from them the more I miss them. I got to spend some quality time with my parents, my brothers, my grandparents, and even some extended family. Sometimes, when life gets busy, it's easy to forget to slow down and relax, and spending time with my family always reminds me how important it is to do that. College is difficult sometimes because everything you do is going to affect your future for the most part; there aren't many decisions made in college that don't directly affect
where your life goes. I love going home and spending time with my family, even if it's just watching TV together, or eating dinner. I miss them all the time, and look forward to coming home when I have the chance.
As far as my spiritual life goes I've been doing better. I can tell I'm making progress for sure. I still feel a little lost, but I know God will get me back on the right track. I feel that it is harder for me to get back on track spiritually then before. A lot of times, this part of my blog is hard to write, my spiritual walk with God is something that is very personal to me, and sometimes its hard to even admit to myself that I haven't been doing everything I should to get back on track, so writing it on here for the world to see is difficult. But there comes a point where I have to admit it to myself, and to God, and it is very hard for me. I don't know if it is my pride, or my own selfish desires that make it difficult to talk about, but I know what I need to do to get my heart back in the right place. This past year and a half, closer to two years now, have been a struggle between being on track, and then getting distracted. I feel as if I used to be so on fire for God, and I feel as if that fire is dimmed a bit (or a lot). There are things that I know about God, I know that he exists, and that he created me and everyone and everything around me, and that he loved everyone so much that he sent his son to die for us, so that he could spend eternity with us and so that we can be connected directly too him, and that he can give us a better life than we can imagine for ourselves. I know all of these things and more, but I'm struggling to understand why I am at this point as far as my relationship with God goes, and how to fix it. I know that if I look to God, he will look back and meet me where I am, maybe it's just having faith in him that is difficult for me now. Like I said, it's hard for me to be so open about it, especially on here for everyone to see, but God said that following him wasn't exactly easy, I can understand that a lot better the older I get. So, I hope that wasn't too much to put here, but I want to be honest with where I am at this point. I know that no matter what happens though, God loves me and he isn't going anywhere, and that's comforting.
Now, since my last post I haven't gone running nearly as much. I have been able to go a few times, but not much at all. I had the pleasure of taking my dog with me while I was home although I almost tripped over him a couple times. Because of finals and being at home I haven't been keeping track of my running, so starting tomorrow I am going to get back on the bandwagon and keep track of my running. I am also going to have to start paying more attention to what I eat, which is hard when you don't have a meal plan anymore. I am going to have to track not only what I'm eating, but how much my food is costing as well since I will be financing my own food this summer. So this summer will definitely be a summer of learning in that regard.
Speaking of the summer, I am anxiously awaiting the start of Orientation. I can't wait to meet all of the incoming freshmen and formerly introduce them too the school, and I definitely can't wait to spend the next two months with my famOLy. But for now, I will just have to wait!
Because of how hectic my summer will be balancing two jobs, I will probably not be updating my blog every Tuesday. But I will be sure to update it once a week, and I will continue to post my updates on facebook and twitter for y'all to see. Thanks for reading! :)
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Week 10
This past week for me has been pretty good as far as everything goes. A lot of things have been stressing me out, and I won't go into detail about everything that has happened, but I have lost sleep over all the different things that have happened. I know that I am not alone though, I have heard from many people that this past week has been really hard for a lot of my friends as well, so seeing how hard of a week it has been on everybody makes me a little sad. But the good news is, this week is a new week, and I can't wait to see what it has in store.
My eating this week has been pretty good, but I am not going to lie, I treated myself to fast food for the first time since August. I got a Mcdouble from Mcdonalds and forgot how delicious it was! But the weird thing is, it made my stomach hurt because I hadn't eaten one in so long. Even though it hurt my stomach, it is encouraging because it means that my body is cleansing itself of all of the bad things I used to put into it. So that means I am doing something right! I also was able to run 4.5 miles last night, and I felt like I could keep going if I wanted. So this means I am more than ready to run a 5K next time one comes around. I have heard of a lot of different 5Ks that will be happening around here and in Tallahassee, so I'm not sure which one I am going to actually run, but I really really really want my first one to be the color run!
I also just want to let everyone know that next week will be my last Ruby Tuesday's post until after finals week, so there won't be any updates the last week of April. I have a lot I need to study for and my grades need to be my number one priority right now. But that just means I will have twice the stories to share with you when I post again!
I got on a scale for the first time the other day, and was a bit discouraged to see that the number hadn't changed. I was beating myself up about it for about a day, but talking to one of my friends made me realize that even though the numbers aren't changing, I still am changing. I am still learning how to take care of myself in a healthy way, and when I look in the mirror, I can see the image changing. The changes that my body is making may be subtle to others, but I can see a change in myself. My clothes fit better, and I look healthier. I know with due time I will start to see even more results. I know last week I posted about pushing myself farther, and I have been doing that this week. So I know if I continue to push myself, I will see results again, and to be quite honest I can't wait.
Everyday I am reminded of how much my UWF family means to me. I have gotten so much encouragement from those around me, and each little gesture means more than anyone understands. I know I always have to put a little cheesey section about how much I love the people at my school but I really really love them!
So this week I want to close with talking about what happened in Boston. For those of you who don't know, yesterday at the Boston Marathon, two bombs went off in what is speculated to be a terrorist attack, although no one is sure what to call it. Three people where killed and many others were wounded. An eight year old boy was among those that were killed. This really hit home to me, because for a while I have been training to run a 5K, and I can't imagine how scary it was for the people who were running, and for the people who were there supporting those who were running.
My eating this week has been pretty good, but I am not going to lie, I treated myself to fast food for the first time since August. I got a Mcdouble from Mcdonalds and forgot how delicious it was! But the weird thing is, it made my stomach hurt because I hadn't eaten one in so long. Even though it hurt my stomach, it is encouraging because it means that my body is cleansing itself of all of the bad things I used to put into it. So that means I am doing something right! I also was able to run 4.5 miles last night, and I felt like I could keep going if I wanted. So this means I am more than ready to run a 5K next time one comes around. I have heard of a lot of different 5Ks that will be happening around here and in Tallahassee, so I'm not sure which one I am going to actually run, but I really really really want my first one to be the color run!
I also just want to let everyone know that next week will be my last Ruby Tuesday's post until after finals week, so there won't be any updates the last week of April. I have a lot I need to study for and my grades need to be my number one priority right now. But that just means I will have twice the stories to share with you when I post again!
I got on a scale for the first time the other day, and was a bit discouraged to see that the number hadn't changed. I was beating myself up about it for about a day, but talking to one of my friends made me realize that even though the numbers aren't changing, I still am changing. I am still learning how to take care of myself in a healthy way, and when I look in the mirror, I can see the image changing. The changes that my body is making may be subtle to others, but I can see a change in myself. My clothes fit better, and I look healthier. I know with due time I will start to see even more results. I know last week I posted about pushing myself farther, and I have been doing that this week. So I know if I continue to push myself, I will see results again, and to be quite honest I can't wait.
Everyday I am reminded of how much my UWF family means to me. I have gotten so much encouragement from those around me, and each little gesture means more than anyone understands. I know I always have to put a little cheesey section about how much I love the people at my school but I really really love them!
So this week I want to close with talking about what happened in Boston. For those of you who don't know, yesterday at the Boston Marathon, two bombs went off in what is speculated to be a terrorist attack, although no one is sure what to call it. Three people where killed and many others were wounded. An eight year old boy was among those that were killed. This really hit home to me, because for a while I have been training to run a 5K, and I can't imagine how scary it was for the people who were running, and for the people who were there supporting those who were running.
It is quickly becoming scary to me to think of the presence of tragedies like this occurring in society today. I feel as if they are happening so often that we all have become desensitized to it. I know that for me, I don't remember a time of peace growing up, because most of my childhood was post 9-11. My generation is a generation of people who grew up in a time of war, and a time of terror, and a time when it was common to hear of violent acts towards innocent people, whether it be an attack on our country or attack on people in general. Because of this, I feel that as a society, we should take a moment and reflect when things like this happen. I think that we should all take a moment to acknowledge what happened and try to put ourselves in the shoes of those affected, and understand the impact this has on the people involved so that we don't become desensitized. I care for the people that were lost and the families and friends that have been devastated from events such as these, and sometimes I wonder how people are able to move on after. I can't imagine the heartache that is felt by the people who were affected by these tragedies.
I will never understand what would lead a person to commit a crime such as this, but I think that it is also important to remember to pray for the people who committed the act as well. My heart breaks for the victims and for the perpetrators of these crimes. In Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them because they know not what they do." I do not understand, and never will understand what would drive a person to hurt other people in such a catastrophic manner, but it is so important to remember to pray for them as well. So this week if you are reading, please take a moment to pray for the people affected by this event, and if you don't pray take a moment to keep those involved in your thoughts.
That's all until next week, thank you for reading!
I will never understand what would lead a person to commit a crime such as this, but I think that it is also important to remember to pray for the people who committed the act as well. My heart breaks for the victims and for the perpetrators of these crimes. In Luke 23:34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them because they know not what they do." I do not understand, and never will understand what would drive a person to hurt other people in such a catastrophic manner, but it is so important to remember to pray for them as well. So this week if you are reading, please take a moment to pray for the people affected by this event, and if you don't pray take a moment to keep those involved in your thoughts.
That's all until next week, thank you for reading!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Week 9
This week I have good news! I am now able to run 3.5 miles without stopping! Woohoo! I am so excited about this, because that means that I am ready to run a 5k! Now I just have to save money so that I can sign up for the Color Run that will be here in May. I'm excited, and I am finding myself addicted to running now. I go almost everyday and I feel so great after I'm done. I have never in the course of my almost 19 years of living been able to run that far without stopping, so this is a big achievement in my book.
This last week I have gone running almost everyday and each day I am able to go a little bit farther than before. Sometimes it is harder than others, but I know in the end it will be worth it. The problem now is I am running out of room to run on campus, so I need to find some alternate routes around campus so that I can run farther.
Talking to my Mom this past week really made me push myself a lot harder these past few days. She knows I'm calling her out right now, but my Mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders in this whole thing. A conversation I had with her earlier this week made me realize that I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. It's crazy how much more your parents know about you than you know about yourself sometimes, right? Anyways, because of this I have been pushing myself a lot harder this week and it really has been paying off. So hopefully I will continue to push myself to see how far I can go.
I have been learning a lot in my spiritual life these last few weeks. Finding a church home has been hard because I have never had to find another church family before. I have always had a church to go to and be a part of back at home, I miss it pretty much all of the time. While on this search for a Church family, it has made me see things from a new perspective. I guess I never really knew how uneasy it could be to step into a new environment and not know anyone as far as church is concerned. While yes, I usually go to church college groups with friends, there are times when we are completely ignored. It's crazy how a simple "good morning" can ease the situation. It makes me realize how important it is to welcome others into the church, and how much influence we have on each other. I think sometimes we lose sight of that, and get comfortable with where we are and forget about those around us, especially when we find ourselves comfortable in our church groups. But taking that extra step to reach out to someone you haven't met or seen at church before goes a long way.
So I know that these blogs are becoming increasingly repetitive, but I am trying to find things to talk about that can mix it up a little bit as the weeks go on. I hope that you guys enjoyed reading today, and hopefully I'll have some more exciting things to talk about next week! Until then!
This last week I have gone running almost everyday and each day I am able to go a little bit farther than before. Sometimes it is harder than others, but I know in the end it will be worth it. The problem now is I am running out of room to run on campus, so I need to find some alternate routes around campus so that I can run farther.
Talking to my Mom this past week really made me push myself a lot harder these past few days. She knows I'm calling her out right now, but my Mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders in this whole thing. A conversation I had with her earlier this week made me realize that I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. It's crazy how much more your parents know about you than you know about yourself sometimes, right? Anyways, because of this I have been pushing myself a lot harder this week and it really has been paying off. So hopefully I will continue to push myself to see how far I can go.
I have been learning a lot in my spiritual life these last few weeks. Finding a church home has been hard because I have never had to find another church family before. I have always had a church to go to and be a part of back at home, I miss it pretty much all of the time. While on this search for a Church family, it has made me see things from a new perspective. I guess I never really knew how uneasy it could be to step into a new environment and not know anyone as far as church is concerned. While yes, I usually go to church college groups with friends, there are times when we are completely ignored. It's crazy how a simple "good morning" can ease the situation. It makes me realize how important it is to welcome others into the church, and how much influence we have on each other. I think sometimes we lose sight of that, and get comfortable with where we are and forget about those around us, especially when we find ourselves comfortable in our church groups. But taking that extra step to reach out to someone you haven't met or seen at church before goes a long way.
So I know that these blogs are becoming increasingly repetitive, but I am trying to find things to talk about that can mix it up a little bit as the weeks go on. I hope that you guys enjoyed reading today, and hopefully I'll have some more exciting things to talk about next week! Until then!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Week 8
So this week I have good news and bad news. Good news; I have broken my one and a half mile record and made it to two miles without stopping this week, so if I can get a little more than one mile under my belt, I can run an entire 5k without stopping, which is really exciting. The bad news is, and I am ashamed to say it, I missed my 5k this past weekend. I slept through my alarm and woke up an hour after the race had actually started. So now, did I not only miss my 5k, I also owe the school 14 dollars for not running, which in college currency, is about a hundred dollars. But, I have some more good news! Coming up in May, there is a color run that will be taking place exactly one hour from here in Orange Beach. If I can get someone to go with me, I am going to sign up and make that one my first 5k.
In a sense I don't think that it is the end of the world that I ended up missing my race, although it is disappointing. When I run my first marathon I want to be able to run the whole thing, and this gives me about another month to get ready for it. And, let's be honest, I think the color run sounds so much fun. So that's my plan for now.
This past week I have gotten out and ran almost every day except maybe 2 or three days, I haven't really been keeping track because now I usually end up running for fun. I never thought I would end up saying I enjoy running, but I do. I have been going around campus mostly, but when it starts to get really hot here in the summer I will have to start running at the gym again, but we will see.
My eating this week has been better, my only problem is eating at night has slowly started to creep back into to my routine. I need to start getting myself to stop eating after dinner, but everything tastes better at midnight! I usually try to keep fruit in my room for nights that I can't help but eat something to take off the edge a little bit. But over all I have been eating pretty healthy with a few exceptions.
I have noticed that lately I am becoming less concerned with my weight and more concerned with how I feel. I haven't gotten on the scale in a while because the closest one is in the gym, but it's almost kind of nice to not have to worry about the numbers on the scale. I need to check in with my weight and I will as soon as possible, but it really shows that I am running and eating healthy to be healthy. The more I continue to exercise, the better I feel about myself, and the better I feel about myself, the more motivated I am to keep exercising.
This week has been good faith wise. I have been to a couple of services around town and I really feel like I'm getting back on the right track. There are certain areas of my life that I know I should be working on, and it's encouraging because the ability to recognize those parts of my life is the first step towards getting my faith right with God again.
So that is it for this week! See ya next week!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Week 7
This week has been somewhat interesting I guess, nothing super spectacular has happened so I suspect this post won't be nearly as long as last weeks. I've just felt very, blah about everything. I feel like everything I am learning in my classes are becoming a big jumbled mess in my head that I can't really keep straight. I am going to have to do some serious organizing at some point today with my studies, because I don't want to end up getting stressed and worried. If college has taught me one thing, it's the importance of keeping calm and staying organized! Although I wish I hadn't waited until college to figure that out. My sleep schedule has been really off too, and I'm trying hard to get back into a regular routine again. I wasn't able to sleep until four in the morning last night. I know that has a lot to do with my disorganization and anxieties about getting all that I need to get done, done.
So this week I hit a huge marker on the road to becoming independent! I cooked my own food last night! I made quinoa salad and it was delicious, there is still some in my fridge and I can't wait to have more later tonight at some point. I do wish I had some olives, salt and pepper to add to the taste though. It's not the best thing I have ever eaten, but the fact that I know that if I didn't have a meal plan I could cook things for myself is exciting in it's own way! Woohoo!
I guess this week I don't really have much to say about life, but last week's post was really long so I think it's alright. This week I made it to the gym three times, and then I went for a run around campus a separate time. And speaking of running, the 5k I'm going to run is this weekend, and I'm scared! I haven't been able to make it more than a mile and a half without stopping, so I don't know how I will make 3.1 miles. I am going to do my best but it's scary. I planned on being so much farther ahead at this point then I am right now. I haven't weighed myself in a while either and I'm alittle worried about being discouraged when I do. I know that keeping track of that is a good way to stay motivated, but I'm conflicted about it, because I do want to lose weight but more importantly I want to be healthy. I'll just have to figure that out after I do my 5k on Saturday, it will be a fresh start!
This week the eating has gone superb, except for one slip up this week when the market was serving my favorite peanut butter cookies, but even then it wasn't too bad. I am definitely back on the right track even though I swerved off the road there for a little while. I find it hard sometimes to motivate myself to try harder, but I know that in the end I have come a long way, but continuing in that direction is the challenge.
As I was writing this, my friend Shannon just gave me the best present ever and I love her so much! But seriously, this girl is my role model. She makes me, and other's on campus to reach for their dreams and aspirations. She is so many people's biggest cheerleader and her ambition and determination inspires others to accomplish so much. This girl is going places, people! And she means a lot to me and so many other's on campus!
That's all I have for this week, but I'm sure I will have more next week, and I will have updates regarding my 5k! Again, thank you to everyone who reads and for all the encouragement I have recieved!
So this week I hit a huge marker on the road to becoming independent! I cooked my own food last night! I made quinoa salad and it was delicious, there is still some in my fridge and I can't wait to have more later tonight at some point. I do wish I had some olives, salt and pepper to add to the taste though. It's not the best thing I have ever eaten, but the fact that I know that if I didn't have a meal plan I could cook things for myself is exciting in it's own way! Woohoo!
I guess this week I don't really have much to say about life, but last week's post was really long so I think it's alright. This week I made it to the gym three times, and then I went for a run around campus a separate time. And speaking of running, the 5k I'm going to run is this weekend, and I'm scared! I haven't been able to make it more than a mile and a half without stopping, so I don't know how I will make 3.1 miles. I am going to do my best but it's scary. I planned on being so much farther ahead at this point then I am right now. I haven't weighed myself in a while either and I'm alittle worried about being discouraged when I do. I know that keeping track of that is a good way to stay motivated, but I'm conflicted about it, because I do want to lose weight but more importantly I want to be healthy. I'll just have to figure that out after I do my 5k on Saturday, it will be a fresh start!
This week the eating has gone superb, except for one slip up this week when the market was serving my favorite peanut butter cookies, but even then it wasn't too bad. I am definitely back on the right track even though I swerved off the road there for a little while. I find it hard sometimes to motivate myself to try harder, but I know that in the end I have come a long way, but continuing in that direction is the challenge.
As I was writing this, my friend Shannon just gave me the best present ever and I love her so much! But seriously, this girl is my role model. She makes me, and other's on campus to reach for their dreams and aspirations. She is so many people's biggest cheerleader and her ambition and determination inspires others to accomplish so much. This girl is going places, people! And she means a lot to me and so many other's on campus!
That's all I have for this week, but I'm sure I will have more next week, and I will have updates regarding my 5k! Again, thank you to everyone who reads and for all the encouragement I have recieved!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Week 6: Spring Break Style
This last week, although stressful at times, was fantastic. This last week was my spring break, and although I didn't get to sleep in as much as I would have liked, I got to spend time with some of the people I love the most!
The first part of my spring break was spent in Tallahassee, which was busy busy busy! But, I got to spend time with my family and my friends. It is always so nice to spend time with my family especially after having gone so long without being with them. Those who know me well know that I love me some good quality family time! I spent a little more than a month away from home which is the longest I have gone without being in Tallahassee. I also got to see some of my closest friends, whose names I won't mention for privacy's sake, but they all know who they are. It was so cool to be able to catch up with my friends and see how far they have come in the past year and seeing all that they have accomplished, and getting some way overdue quality time with them. I love my friends!
One of the highlights of my Tallahassee time was going to Lincoln High School's FCA meeting on Thursday. Last year was a turning point for FCA, and God really grew the program on campus. It was so neat to see how God took the hearts of a few willing students, and grew the organization to what it was at the end of last year. To go back and see just how strong the FCA group still is on campus made me proud of my fellow former FCA leaders, and of the FCA leaders serving now. God is certainly with them, he is using them to change the campus, and it makes me so proud to see what they are doing today! I am so proud of all of them!
After going to Tallahassee, I went back to Pensacola to embark on a SROWtally awesome experience with my fellow OL's! The entire Orientation staff went to the Southern Regional Orientation Workshop to be educated in the art of Orientation Leading. I learned so much and had such a good time bonding with the staff, who I consider to be some of my closest friends! I learned so much while at SROW, but one of the things I learned that I will never forget, was actually taught to me by the University of New Orleans. The University of New Orleans had a workshop on servant leadership, which I had learned about in church multiple times, but this workshop put a different spin on it, specifically geared towards Orientation and things of that nature. The person putting on the workshop said that servant leadership was "leading so that others may lead." I had never heard it put that way before. I knew servant leadership was putting others before yourself, which is something I had always been taught, but I guess I had never thought of it in that way before. I will never forget that, and will try to apply this to many areas of my life, not just orientation.
Spending this past weekend with my Orientation family was so much fun, and I feel like I got to know each and every staff member so much better. It is so cool to see how our different talents mesh together, and see all the different things each person brings to the table. The keynote speaker at SROW said that he applied the philosophy of finding the rock star in every person that he meets, and let me just say that each person on staff has that inner rock star. They are all so amazing in different ways, and everyone is so unique! Sorry if this is getting cliche, but I can't help but love each and every one of them!
So anyways, onto the gym and fitness stuff. This past week has had it's good moments and bad moments. This week I didn't work out very much, but the amount of walking and dancing that I did at SROW was more than enough to count for daily workouts. There was only one day this week that I was actually out there running, and I made it to about half of a 5k without stopping. This makes me kind of nervous, because my 5k is only 11 days away, but it isn't going to stop me from trying. I am going to push myself to finish, but I am also going to be careful to listen to what my body may be telling me while I run at the same time. I don't want to end up hurting myself by pushing myself to hard, but I am going to try! So at some point today I am going to get out and run and see how far I make it. I have started to enjoy running outside versus inside, so it looks like some of y'all reading my be seeing me running around campus some these next few weeks!
My eating has still been not that great lately, I am allowing myself to cheat too much, and I am really going to have to focus on what I am putting in my body. I used to use my fitness pal to track what I eat so I don't overdo it, but I stopped using it when I got sick at the beginning of the semester, so it looks like I am going to start using it again because I can tell that I haven't been losing weight like I was in January. Which also means I am going to have to start running more often if I want to start losing again.
Something I want to reiterate is that I am not trying to lose weight because I don't love myself, I want to lose because I DO love myself. I was talking to my Mom recently about all of it, and I remember the night that I started to spiral out of control with my eating. I remember that one night before school, I packed my lunch and put it in my backpack, and took my back pack to my room with me. I remember being sad that night, and as I was reading my book I remember eating something out of my bag, and before I knew if, I had eaten the whole lunch I had prepared for the next day. For a long time after that, I would do that every night, and then in the mornings pack some more food for my lunch that day. I remember that when that started happening, I didn't see much value in myself, but now, I know that I have value. And that's why I am trying be healthier.
As far as my spiritual life goes, it has been going really well this past week. For those of you who know me well, you know that my faith is a big part of who I am. This past week I spent some time with one of my best friends Emily (who gave me permission to use her name in my blog) out at the green way back in Tallahassee. By the way, that is on fire for God! I learned about all of the things that she is doing around Tallahassee, and it is crazy to see what God is doing through her, and homegirl is only a junior in high school! I am so proud of how far she has come and of the person she is today! She made me realize what was keeping me from rekindling my relationship with God. I had lost sight of how much God loves me. I think as Christians it is so easy to see our relationship with God as a formula, if I do x amount of this, and y amount of this, then I can get my relationship with God back on the right track, and that's not how it works. I know for me I was trying to earn God's love, which was against everything I have ever been taught, which is why it surprised me when I realized that was what was wrong. Emily reminded me that no matter what I do God still loves me, and just because I began to stray away doesn't mean I have to earn his love back. I think that's another reason why Christians struggle in their faith too. On earth, their is no one who loves unconditionally. When we go through lulls in our spiritual life I think people think we have to climb back up the spiritual ladder. But the whole point of Christianity is that we don't have a ladder we have to climb up, God takes us as we are BECAUSE he loves us unconditionally. It took me aback when I realized I had forgotten one of the most important components of my relationship with God. I also realized that when I talked to God, I tried to bring my past with me. At Camp WorldLight this past summer, one of the thing we taught our campers was that we didn't have to carry around burdens from our past any more, and we had the campers carry around a bag that had a wooden block in it the whole night, and they weren't allowed to let go of it. Then after the activity was finished, we would take the wood block from them and give them a gift box with nothing inside of it, demonstrating that God takes our burdens and our past and our sins away so that we can be free from them, and that we don't have to carry them around anymore. And just this past week, 8 months after camp was over, here I was, carrying this bag around with me.Talk about not taking your own advice! So this past week has been all about God taking this block from me and giving me the gift of nothing in return, and it's going pretty swell so far.
So this blog was rrreeeaalllyyy long and at some parts cheesey, but I appreciate you bearing with me! See you next week!
The first part of my spring break was spent in Tallahassee, which was busy busy busy! But, I got to spend time with my family and my friends. It is always so nice to spend time with my family especially after having gone so long without being with them. Those who know me well know that I love me some good quality family time! I spent a little more than a month away from home which is the longest I have gone without being in Tallahassee. I also got to see some of my closest friends, whose names I won't mention for privacy's sake, but they all know who they are. It was so cool to be able to catch up with my friends and see how far they have come in the past year and seeing all that they have accomplished, and getting some way overdue quality time with them. I love my friends!
One of the highlights of my Tallahassee time was going to Lincoln High School's FCA meeting on Thursday. Last year was a turning point for FCA, and God really grew the program on campus. It was so neat to see how God took the hearts of a few willing students, and grew the organization to what it was at the end of last year. To go back and see just how strong the FCA group still is on campus made me proud of my fellow former FCA leaders, and of the FCA leaders serving now. God is certainly with them, he is using them to change the campus, and it makes me so proud to see what they are doing today! I am so proud of all of them!
After going to Tallahassee, I went back to Pensacola to embark on a SROWtally awesome experience with my fellow OL's! The entire Orientation staff went to the Southern Regional Orientation Workshop to be educated in the art of Orientation Leading. I learned so much and had such a good time bonding with the staff, who I consider to be some of my closest friends! I learned so much while at SROW, but one of the things I learned that I will never forget, was actually taught to me by the University of New Orleans. The University of New Orleans had a workshop on servant leadership, which I had learned about in church multiple times, but this workshop put a different spin on it, specifically geared towards Orientation and things of that nature. The person putting on the workshop said that servant leadership was "leading so that others may lead." I had never heard it put that way before. I knew servant leadership was putting others before yourself, which is something I had always been taught, but I guess I had never thought of it in that way before. I will never forget that, and will try to apply this to many areas of my life, not just orientation.
Spending this past weekend with my Orientation family was so much fun, and I feel like I got to know each and every staff member so much better. It is so cool to see how our different talents mesh together, and see all the different things each person brings to the table. The keynote speaker at SROW said that he applied the philosophy of finding the rock star in every person that he meets, and let me just say that each person on staff has that inner rock star. They are all so amazing in different ways, and everyone is so unique! Sorry if this is getting cliche, but I can't help but love each and every one of them!
So anyways, onto the gym and fitness stuff. This past week has had it's good moments and bad moments. This week I didn't work out very much, but the amount of walking and dancing that I did at SROW was more than enough to count for daily workouts. There was only one day this week that I was actually out there running, and I made it to about half of a 5k without stopping. This makes me kind of nervous, because my 5k is only 11 days away, but it isn't going to stop me from trying. I am going to push myself to finish, but I am also going to be careful to listen to what my body may be telling me while I run at the same time. I don't want to end up hurting myself by pushing myself to hard, but I am going to try! So at some point today I am going to get out and run and see how far I make it. I have started to enjoy running outside versus inside, so it looks like some of y'all reading my be seeing me running around campus some these next few weeks!
My eating has still been not that great lately, I am allowing myself to cheat too much, and I am really going to have to focus on what I am putting in my body. I used to use my fitness pal to track what I eat so I don't overdo it, but I stopped using it when I got sick at the beginning of the semester, so it looks like I am going to start using it again because I can tell that I haven't been losing weight like I was in January. Which also means I am going to have to start running more often if I want to start losing again.
Something I want to reiterate is that I am not trying to lose weight because I don't love myself, I want to lose because I DO love myself. I was talking to my Mom recently about all of it, and I remember the night that I started to spiral out of control with my eating. I remember that one night before school, I packed my lunch and put it in my backpack, and took my back pack to my room with me. I remember being sad that night, and as I was reading my book I remember eating something out of my bag, and before I knew if, I had eaten the whole lunch I had prepared for the next day. For a long time after that, I would do that every night, and then in the mornings pack some more food for my lunch that day. I remember that when that started happening, I didn't see much value in myself, but now, I know that I have value. And that's why I am trying be healthier.
As far as my spiritual life goes, it has been going really well this past week. For those of you who know me well, you know that my faith is a big part of who I am. This past week I spent some time with one of my best friends Emily (who gave me permission to use her name in my blog) out at the green way back in Tallahassee. By the way, that is on fire for God! I learned about all of the things that she is doing around Tallahassee, and it is crazy to see what God is doing through her, and homegirl is only a junior in high school! I am so proud of how far she has come and of the person she is today! She made me realize what was keeping me from rekindling my relationship with God. I had lost sight of how much God loves me. I think as Christians it is so easy to see our relationship with God as a formula, if I do x amount of this, and y amount of this, then I can get my relationship with God back on the right track, and that's not how it works. I know for me I was trying to earn God's love, which was against everything I have ever been taught, which is why it surprised me when I realized that was what was wrong. Emily reminded me that no matter what I do God still loves me, and just because I began to stray away doesn't mean I have to earn his love back. I think that's another reason why Christians struggle in their faith too. On earth, their is no one who loves unconditionally. When we go through lulls in our spiritual life I think people think we have to climb back up the spiritual ladder. But the whole point of Christianity is that we don't have a ladder we have to climb up, God takes us as we are BECAUSE he loves us unconditionally. It took me aback when I realized I had forgotten one of the most important components of my relationship with God. I also realized that when I talked to God, I tried to bring my past with me. At Camp WorldLight this past summer, one of the thing we taught our campers was that we didn't have to carry around burdens from our past any more, and we had the campers carry around a bag that had a wooden block in it the whole night, and they weren't allowed to let go of it. Then after the activity was finished, we would take the wood block from them and give them a gift box with nothing inside of it, demonstrating that God takes our burdens and our past and our sins away so that we can be free from them, and that we don't have to carry them around anymore. And just this past week, 8 months after camp was over, here I was, carrying this bag around with me.Talk about not taking your own advice! So this past week has been all about God taking this block from me and giving me the gift of nothing in return, and it's going pretty swell so far.
So this blog was rrreeeaalllyyy long and at some parts cheesey, but I appreciate you bearing with me! See you next week!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Week 5
Hey guys! So yesterday I completely forgot to post so here I am updating it today. The spring break bug has officially bitten and I have been sleeping in until at least 10 every day this week and I'm loving it. I'm really enjoying spring break so far, I am here back in Tallahassee until tomorrow and it's always good to come home and see my family again. I miss them so much when I'm gone!
This last week has been great diet wise, but not so great in the exercise department. This past week, with the exception of some cake pops I made with me friend yesterday, my diet has been great again, lots of veggies, protein and water and less sugar! But as far as the exercise goes it has not been as good. This afternoon at some point I am planning on taking my dog Patch on a walk/jog with me later while I have him home with me. Then after my jog I am going to reward myself by watching Duck Dynasty and The Americans tonight.
This week is short but next weeks post I assure you will be lllooonnnggg! See ya then!
This last week has been great diet wise, but not so great in the exercise department. This past week, with the exception of some cake pops I made with me friend yesterday, my diet has been great again, lots of veggies, protein and water and less sugar! But as far as the exercise goes it has not been as good. This afternoon at some point I am planning on taking my dog Patch on a walk/jog with me later while I have him home with me. Then after my jog I am going to reward myself by watching Duck Dynasty and The Americans tonight.
This week is short but next weeks post I assure you will be lllooonnnggg! See ya then!
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