Entering Week 4

This past week has been nuts. It seems like the busier I get the harder it is to make my way to the gym everyday. Today's post will be short but hopefully I will find time this week to write more, I have so much to do and so little time!

This week I went home to celebrate my Mom's birthday, so I went back to Tallahassee this weekend to be with her. It was fun! Me and my dad put money together to by her a new fossil purse for her from Dillards; I was a bit jealous. It was originally about $230.00 and we got it for $64.00, don't you love those new year blowout sales! But it was nice to see her and be with my family since I won't be able to be with them for the next few weeks.

This week I only missed one day at the gym, and that was Saturday. So far I have been doing at least 30 minutes of cardio at the gym everyday, even as late as 9 at night because I have been so pressed for time. But the good news is, I am back in the 180s! I now weigh 188 pounds, which is 7 pounds less than what I started at. It is so encouraging to know that my effort is paying off.

Even though the pounds have continued to fall off, I have found it increasingly hard not to slip into my old eating habits. And it isn't necessarily the foods I eat (even though I have treated myself a few more times than I should have), but it is the amount I let myself eat. I could eat so much salad at one sitting, but eventually the amount of nutrition that I get from the vegetables in the salad is canceled out by the fat in the dressings that I am putting on it. But I know this week will be a new week and I will just have to start trying a little bit harder.

This morning when I stepped out of my bed, I landed right on the metal end of my soft tape measure my mom gave me to keep track of the inches I am losing, and I cut my foot. The cut is about the size of a grain of rice, but it was deep and bled really bad when it happened. It was right in the middle of my foot too and my foot has hurt all day and I have been walking of the side of it since this morning, it stings! I feel like a little kid complaining about a paper cut, but I kid you not, it hurts sooooooo bad. I'm thinking that just because today is so busy and I have so much studying I have to do as well as a meeting to go to tonight, today I won't go. But that just means that I can't miss a day this week, so starting tomorrow I will be in the gym everyday until next Tuesday.

Another thing I also noticed with eating healthier is that my fingernails are so much stronger than they used to be. They used to break so easy but now I can grow them long and have them look good! And the jeans I bought three weeks a go are now getting looser, I can't wear them without a belt, so hopefully I will be out of these jeans and into some new ones soon!

That's all for this week! See you Tuesday!

Entering Week 3

So this week was not as good as last week, I wasn't able to go to the gym everyday because I went home for the weekend, but it was worth it. One of the things I like most about living away from home, is the excitement that comes along with returning home. I had lots of fun with both of my parents, helping my Dad with some work things and shopping with my Mom. I also got to see my grandparents; it was a good time. And not to mention on Thursday I had my first french fry in 3 weeks, it was so good! But now I have to wait three more weeks before I can have more. I figured it would be good to reward myself every once in a while so I will reward myself with a delicious meal from steak n shake every three weeks I go without eating fried food, so far it has worked pretty well!

This week I went to the gym a total of 3 days and then went on a run with my dog on Sunday, who turned out to be a pretty good running companion. I was scared the whole time, Buck Lake road is really dark at 8 at night! But I guess the fact that I was scared kept me going. Patch was fervent that he was going to stay at least 6 feet ahead of me at all times, but I felt safer knowing he was there!

Yesterday I planned to go to the gym after I got back from my weekend, only to find that I left my car lights on all weekend long. My car was completely dead, it wouldn't even jump! My gym buddy and I didn't want to walk up to the gym because it was already really late, so we just ordered in dinner and I went to sleep at about 9 or 10. But yesterday was the first time that I actually wanted to go to the gym because I missed it.

This week I am determined to be better! Now that I know that I can run out on the pavement (something I had never tried before) I am going to make sure I get exercise everyday, going home over the weekend is no longer an excuse not to work out!

In addition, I am planning on implementing a new part of my getting-back-on-track routine. I recently received a pamphlet from the BCM on campus that has segments from both the new and old testaments to read in a year. I was planning on starting on the first but forgot about it until yesterday. So now, I will be reading those segments everyday to read the Bible from cover to cover by this time next year, so hopefully God will be showing me some other areas of my life I can work on as well.

In other news, I went to the doctor and so far I have lost 4 pounds since I last weighed myself! I have gone from 195 to 191 in the last two weeks, and I had to tighten my belt 2 belt loops to keep my pants on, which are now too big to keep up! So it looks like if I keep it up, I'll be headed toward my goal in no time. My parents and my family could even tell a difference, which is super encouraging. I've been noticing that my clothes are fitting me better as well, they aren't nearly as tight as they were before, which give me a huge boost in my confidence, and makes me want to go back to the gym even more. I've been a lot happier, and I continue to see and feel so much better about myself, even though I fell off the bandwagon a little bit this week. But that just makes me want to try harder to improve these next few days.

I think my biggest fear is going to be that plateau I will hit eventually. Right now I am doing exclusively cardio, which will work for a while. Sooner or later though, I will have to start working harder during my cardio exercises, and start doing strength training as well in order to keep losing. However, with just the cardio, I can tell that my resting heart rate is slower, and my max heart rate while I'm at the gym is getting lower too, which means that my cardio exercise is paying off in more than just the way my clothes fit me.

I just want to take a second and thank everyone who has been so encouraging in this so far, it means so much to me and it makes me feel good knowing that I have tons of support from you guys! It means more that you know! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

So that is all until next week guys! See ya then!

I don't have much time to post this morning but as promised I will be updating today! This week has had its tough moments and its easy moments. I feel so much better than I did before I started to eat healthy. This week I can proudly say I haven't had any fried food (except for a little bit of fried chicken on my Cesaer salad on Tuesday night) and that I have significantly cut my sugar intake. I haven't had any soda and I have been drinking water like a madman caught in a desert. I think the hardest part of this week was fighting the urge to stand in the hamburger and french fries line here at UWF, but if that's the hardest thing about eating healthy then it may not be all that bad.

I can also say that I have been to the gym for a whole week without missing a day! But let me just say, this is HARD. There are some days I would rather just sit in my room chewing celery than go to the gym, but with some help from my friends here I have made it. For most of the days this week I've been doing 45 minutes of  cardio but yesterday and Sunday I only did 30 minutes, which is going to change today. I will be making sure I make it to that 45 minutes once again!

I haven't weighed myself for the week, but I did weigh myself at the gym on Thursday and I was down to about 191.5 which is encouraging, but it could just be my weight fluctuating like it normally does. Throughout the day my body will be at a 193 to 196 range. But the next time I find myself at the scale I will be posting to see if there has been progress.

Most importantly, I have noticed that this past week, not only have I felt healthier and more energized, I feel happier and find it easier to sleep at night. I still need a little bit of help from my Zzzquil sometimes (which in case you didn't know, makes you have crazy dreams!), but I do not find myself staying up until the wee hours of the morning watching television, and when I am awake I am much more productive than last semester. So all in all, even if the number on the scale doesn't change, this is a lifestyle I am still willing to keep up just for the sake of how much better it makes my life all around.

So that's it for this Ruby Tuesday! I will be posting a little bit more throughout the week but if not, see you next Tuesday!

Fish are Friends, and also Food

I know it's not Tuesday but I can simply not contain my excitement! Me and my room mates went on quite the adventure. The idea of buying a pet fish for our dorm has been the subject of many of our conversations, and today we finally got our pets. And yes, you read that right, PETS. Today after scouring Petco, Petsmart, Petland, and Walmart, we finally found the right combination of fish to live together in their little fish bowl. And they are adorable! Vanessa got two Mollies, one black and one white, Ashlyn bought two male Guppies, one red and one black, and I bought two Diamond Tetras and five teeny tiny blue Tetras. I love them!

Diamond Tetra:                                   Blue Tetras:

Male Guppy:                                       Mollies:

All our fish!

We are still trying to figure out names for the Mollies, so if anyone has some let us know!

Since the end of my junior year, I found myself to be an emotional eater and more than likely a food addict. I eat when I'm bored, when I'm emotional, when I'm sad, and when I feel bad about myself, and the impulse to eat is nearly impossible to ignore. I start to eat when I wake up in the morning, and don't stop until I fall asleep at night. And I don't eat healthy foods either. I eat cheeseburgers, candy, soda, pizza, ice cream, anything fried or made of sugar, or anything that I can get my hands on. Over the course of an emotionally challenging year and a half, I have gained a total of 50 lbs. My clothes no longer fit, I avoid photos, I hate the idea of people seeing me at my current weight, and I don't feel good about myself anymore. My self confidence and my faith have taken a huge hit, and my health is not nearly where it should be for someone of my age.

I now feel worse about myself than I did when I started this habit of emotional eating. I no longer have control over my own body, since I simply act on the impulses of my emotions and feelings.  I have gone from a size 10/12 to a size 16 + in pants, and have gone from 140 pounds to 195 pounds, which is more than I have even admitted to those closest to me. When I look  in the mirror, I don't see extra pounds that I need to lose. I've realized those extra pounds are the physical representation of the emotional feelings that I carry around with me. Around my hips I see my own insecurities and people I need to forgive, around my stomach I see where I've been disappointed in myself, and around my waist I see where I have failed. I have let these feelings take over.

Now, it's time for me to take back control of my own body.

Since Christmas break I have started this journey of taking back my own self. I have changed my eating habits and I have yet to miss a day at the gym. I am cutting out all soda and sugary drinks, fried foods, candy, and most carbs (like white bread, etc.). I am increasing the amount of fruits and vegetables I eat, decreasing my portion sizes, and avoid sugar as much as possible. I also make myself walk places and do everything I can to not to take the Trolley (which is so tempting) unless it is raining to hard to walk to class. I have been to the gym for at least an hour everyday doing cardio exercise since the 7th. I can already see a difference in my self, I am happier and more energized, and also feel slimmer than I was before. It's only been a week, so it's probably just the water weight that I'm losing, but it's still encouraging.

The turning point for me, or the straw that broke the camel's back, was when it occurred to me that I was only 5 pounds away from weighing 200 lbs (which is about two thirds the healthy body weight for a female of my height) and when I saw this picture of myself working with kids at a Missions Program put on by the Florida Baptist Convention in Milton:

After I saw this picture I knew that I couldn't continue doing things the way I did. So now, I'm starting a new chapter in my life. With God on my side I am taking back control of myself!

My goal is to get back to the 140 I was my junior year of high school, but more important than the weight, I want to be healthy and feel good about myself. God says in 1 Corinthians to treat our bodies as temples because they were bought at a price. I had been treating my body like a garbage can, filling it with waste and things that were unhealthy. My body was bought at a great price by a God who loves me, and it's about time I start treating it that way!

I find it hard to admit for the last two years that I have been going about things the way that I have, but that is exactly why I'm making this blog. This blog (that hopefully somebody out there will read) will not only keep me accountable to myself, but hopefully to others as well. And who knows, maybe somewhere down the road this will help someone else who reads it too.

I will continue to post updates to this blog at least once a week (on Tuesdays, which is why the blog is called Ruby Tuesdays) and will do my best to be completely honest. This is just me laying everything out on the table. So here goes nothing!