I have good news! So this week I decided to try on a pair of jeans that have been sitting in my drawers since Christmas Day. These were the jeans I got from my Mom that literally made me cry when they didn't fit. But hallelujah, if they didn't fit on Saturday! I have now gone from a size 16 jeans to a size 14! I have been telling everyone all week and I couldn't wait to put it on my blog! And not to mention, my Mom and my aunt came to visit me on Saturday and it was a total surprise, so not only did I go down a pants size, I got to spend all day with them. It was the highlight of my week for sure! This past weekend was probably the best weekend I have had in a long time.
Now, this week has been much better as far as gym and eating healthy goes with a few exceptions. This week I made it to the gym for 3 days, but on the third day I hurt my leg. It's not too bad, but it still hurts when I walk. It doesn't keep me from going to class but it definitely slowed me down a little bit. When I was at the gym, I did thirty minutes on the elliptical (where I pushed myself really hard) and decided to see how far I could run after my workout. So I ran around the track with my friend and ran 5 laps, which is 5/8ths of a mile, which could have been farther had I not just finished my workout. I stopped to stretch and hugged my knees and felt my hip pop. I know it didn't come out of socket, because that would have been MUCH more excrutiating, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. Needless to say it really hurt that night, but I was able to dance at Orientation practice (that doesn't mean it didn't hurt though). It's still kind of bothering me sitting and typing this. So it looks like until it starts to feel better I'm going to have to be a little kinder to it at the gym this week. Hopefully it won't put a damper in my training for my 5K but we will have to see.
Again, as the semester progresses I am finding it increasingly hard to find time for the gym. As far as Monday's and Tuesday's go, I don't make myself walk to the gym because I am too busy. And I have been getting behind in my classwork because my sleep schedule is all out of whack. I'm working on fixing it, but I slept through my alarm 2 days in a row last week and missed two days worth of classes, which for anyone who knows me well, I hate (unless it is algebra). The last thing I want to do is skip class, and the only thing I hate more than missing class, is showing up late to class. The worst is when you walk in late and your professor gives you this look that feels like they can see the innermost parts of your soul. It makes me shiver just thinking about it.
My stress level right now is through the roof. I have so much to study for that I get exhausted just thinking about it. The class I am most stressed about at the current moment is chemistry. I feel like I should be doing better than I am in that class, but I think I'm not used to doing all of the online bookwork and things like that. I'd rather have problems assigned to me out of the book. But the class that I am usually most stressed out about, which is Politics, I am ahead in, so it relieves some of the stress.
On thursday I had my first soda in a long time, and let me tell you, if it wasn't the most delicious thing I ever tasted. I didn't eat that much that day, and wasn't particularly hungry, so I let myself have it and a bowl of cereal and an orange for dinner. I have been craving Diet Coke ever since! For those of you who know me well, know that I had a deep relationship with Diet Coke, breaking up with it was one of the hardest and most emotionally challenging things I have had to do since I started this whole journey. But now I know not to let myself splurge on it again because it is a habit I do not need to start again.
These past few weeks as far as my faith goes have been rocky. To say that college hasn't made me think about where I am spiritually would be a lie. Being in college has exposed me to a wide range of different beliefs and views on spirituality that you don't really get in high school, where a good bit of the people there you have grown up with, at least from middle school. But I am still working on getting back on the right track, and I am still finding myself being grounded in what I believe, it's the faith and relationship part that I am struggling with right now. It's hard to find time to work on my relationship with God when I have so many other things to work on. I'm going to try and make a better effort this week. It's hard for me to be honest about this part, because my faith is something that I hold very dearly, but it's not something that I can keep to myself, because regardless of what I tell other people, I believe God really knows the condition of my heart.
So here's the part where I talk about how much I love my school and the people here. I love being here at UWF and getting to know the people I have. I have made so many friends and have been learning about others and myself. I especially love my fellow Orientation Leaders, and love being a part of what Orientation is all about. Yadda, yadda, yadda, I love it here!
I have been getting so many emails and facebook messages from you guys who are reading my blog, and it is the most encouraging thing. I have gotten messages from people who have learned something from my blog, who are going through the same thing I am, and from people who are encouraging me along the way. I love getting feedback from all of you, and I am glad to know that there are people out there who are benefitting from reading my blog. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for cheering me on, and for some of you, taking this journey with me as I try to gain back control of myself.
And now I'd like to give a special shoutout to my fellow ginger and student coordinator for Orientation, Shawn Mallory, for giving me a 6 cent tip for getting him a chocolate milk at dance practice, and who reads my weekly blogs. Thanks Shawn!
So that's all for this week, see ya next Tuesday!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Week 2
I am so sorry for not posting yesterday, Mondays and Tuesdays are the biggest days of the week for me so it's hard to find time to write then. On mondays I don't get out of class until 9 pm, and on Tuesday I have classes all day and a training for my summer job at night until 11, so it's extremely busy.
This past week has been better, though not as good as I would have hoped. I have resumed my diet for the most part but now I have to wean myself off of sugar and carbs again so that has been tough. This week I have been feeling better about what I eat, and I don't feel guilty about any of the things I've eaten so that is fantastic! I also have been going back to the gym. This week I only went three times but was working out for a full hour the whole time I was there.
These next few weeks, in order to keep myself from stressing out, I am going to go to the gym every other day. This is because I am trying to train for a 5k here at UWF in March and when training for a 5k it is important to give your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger. I will be doing other things that require more physical activities on the other days, maybe like going on walks with some friends on the nature trails they have here, which is one of the reasons I love this school so much! They have a number of beautiful trails that go all through the woods and over a pond, and they have canoes that you can use in the pond as well. Apparently there is a beaver that lives out there as well, and I'm determined to find him!
Training for the 5k is what my goal is going to be for these next few weeks. I have always told my parents I want to be able to run one, and now I'm going to try. Right now I am at the point where I can run 20 minutes without stopping, and 10 minutes more after that if I take a 5 minute break. So we will see how far I can make it this week.
This weekend has been a really good weekend. I am constantly reminded over and over again how much I love this University. I love my school and all of the people here, it really has become my home. But being here also makes me appreciate my home that I came from, and being away also reminds me of how much they love me as well. I miss them and I can't wait to see them over spring break. Just 3 weeks!
Thats all for this week, on Tuesday I will make sure I get my post out on time, even if I have to write it the day before. Have a wonderful week, and I'll see you on Tuesday!
This past week has been better, though not as good as I would have hoped. I have resumed my diet for the most part but now I have to wean myself off of sugar and carbs again so that has been tough. This week I have been feeling better about what I eat, and I don't feel guilty about any of the things I've eaten so that is fantastic! I also have been going back to the gym. This week I only went three times but was working out for a full hour the whole time I was there.
These next few weeks, in order to keep myself from stressing out, I am going to go to the gym every other day. This is because I am trying to train for a 5k here at UWF in March and when training for a 5k it is important to give your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger. I will be doing other things that require more physical activities on the other days, maybe like going on walks with some friends on the nature trails they have here, which is one of the reasons I love this school so much! They have a number of beautiful trails that go all through the woods and over a pond, and they have canoes that you can use in the pond as well. Apparently there is a beaver that lives out there as well, and I'm determined to find him!
Training for the 5k is what my goal is going to be for these next few weeks. I have always told my parents I want to be able to run one, and now I'm going to try. Right now I am at the point where I can run 20 minutes without stopping, and 10 minutes more after that if I take a 5 minute break. So we will see how far I can make it this week.
This weekend has been a really good weekend. I am constantly reminded over and over again how much I love this University. I love my school and all of the people here, it really has become my home. But being here also makes me appreciate my home that I came from, and being away also reminds me of how much they love me as well. I miss them and I can't wait to see them over spring break. Just 3 weeks!
Thats all for this week, on Tuesday I will make sure I get my post out on time, even if I have to write it the day before. Have a wonderful week, and I'll see you on Tuesday!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Starting over, Week 1
Well this week has been less than pleasant. I have been sick since last week and it has taken until yesterday to fully recover. On Tuesday I had a total of 5, yes, 5 nosebleeds, which is d-i-s-g-u-t-i-n-g. They were so bad that I had a friend of mine take me to the hospital, where they told me I shouldn't have come (go figure). They gave me some afrin and I was on my way. But the next day my nosebleeds were gone and I awoke to a violent cold of some sort that I tried to fight off with Nyquil and Dayquil. It has had me down literally all week, I still have a pretty gnarly cough to remind me.
Needless to say, I haven't been to the gym all week. I went yesterday for 20 minutes but I could tell pretty quickly it wasn't a good idea to go back yet. It ended up making me feel worse. But now I think I am better and will try again tomorrow.
My eating this week has also been horrible, and because I've been sick and I haven't been eating well, it looks like I'm back to square one. Which I'm not lying, really stinks. I am not happy about it. But there is nothing I can do about it now except pick myself back up and try again tomorrow. I'm going to start all over tomorrow, eating healthy, going to the gym, and overall making myself become more active.
Last month I lost 7 pounds. I may have back tracked on that a little bit this past week, but you know what, if I did it before I can do it again. This will just have to be a lesson in picking myself back up. This is also something that I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. Weight loss is not something that you do once and you don't ever have to do again. What I am trying to do is about so much more than that. This is about lifestyle change. It's about taking care of my body, something that I am going to have to do for the rest of my life. So I'm looking at this last week not as something to set me back, but as something to push me forward.
Sorry this post came so late, I've been playing catch up all day because of last week, which consisted mostly of wallering in my own sickness. But all in all, I am looking forward to what this week will bring, and I will resume my gym visits tomorrow and will post next week.
Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging to me in this so far. If it weren't for y'all, I may not be going back to the gym tomorrow. But because of y'all I have the motivation to keep going,and for that I thank you. Have a good week!
Needless to say, I haven't been to the gym all week. I went yesterday for 20 minutes but I could tell pretty quickly it wasn't a good idea to go back yet. It ended up making me feel worse. But now I think I am better and will try again tomorrow.
My eating this week has also been horrible, and because I've been sick and I haven't been eating well, it looks like I'm back to square one. Which I'm not lying, really stinks. I am not happy about it. But there is nothing I can do about it now except pick myself back up and try again tomorrow. I'm going to start all over tomorrow, eating healthy, going to the gym, and overall making myself become more active.
Last month I lost 7 pounds. I may have back tracked on that a little bit this past week, but you know what, if I did it before I can do it again. This will just have to be a lesson in picking myself back up. This is also something that I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. Weight loss is not something that you do once and you don't ever have to do again. What I am trying to do is about so much more than that. This is about lifestyle change. It's about taking care of my body, something that I am going to have to do for the rest of my life. So I'm looking at this last week not as something to set me back, but as something to push me forward.
Sorry this post came so late, I've been playing catch up all day because of last week, which consisted mostly of wallering in my own sickness. But all in all, I am looking forward to what this week will bring, and I will resume my gym visits tomorrow and will post next week.
Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging to me in this so far. If it weren't for y'all, I may not be going back to the gym tomorrow. But because of y'all I have the motivation to keep going,and for that I thank you. Have a good week!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Entering Week 5
I am not excited about posting this week. This week has been so busy, and I here I sit at 2:30 in the morning writing this blog with a slight fever that came out of no where and a stuffy nose. And I have class in 6 hours. Oh, and mono has been going around campus, so I hope I don't have that. Woohoo.
This week as far as eating healthy has been rough. I have eaten french fries on multiple occasions and have gone over my calorie limit almost everyday. I still haven't had soda, and I've been doing good about the sugar. It's the grease that is the problem. Nothing tastes better to me than a warm hamburger with melted cheese and all the good stuff, with a side of greasy hot fries and ketchup and honey mustard. But, because I have been so busy this week (not sure what exactly I've been busy doing, everything is such a blur right now) I have been eating dinner after the Nautilus Market has closed, and have had no other option than to go to Papa John's which is right next to my residence hall.
This is painful to type. This week I have had:
1 cheese pizza
1 garden fresh pizza
1 cinnapie
2 boxes of Macaroni and Cheese
3 servings of Fries
3 servings of Fried Chicken
1 trip to TCBY
and to top it all off 1 hamburger from the Market.
Wow, writing it out like that puts it in perspective. Looking at my eating habits this week shows me both how far I have come, and how easy it is to slip back into my old eating habits. Usually, if I wasn't sick, I would be craving some french fries or leftover cake or brownies or a big bag of Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and queso. And I would probably be pigging out right now. But the fact that I know that I can stay up late working on homework or studying, and NOT pig out is a huge accomplishment. And even though the stuff I have been eating this week hasn't been good for me, the amount I eat is significantly less. I usually eat something really small for breakfast, like fruit and coffee, and then have a larger lunch and dinner. Something else I have figured out, it has a lot to do with the time that I eat. If I eat dinner at 5 pm, work on an assignment until 11 or 12, I'm starving by the time I go to bed. So by eating later, say around 7 or 8, I am able to curve those cravings a bit.
But still, seeing all of the bad things I ate last week still sucks. But this week will be a new week.
I haven't been doing so well on the exercise either. I went to the gym 4 times this week, only 4 times! Mostly due to being busy, but I know I can find time in my schedule somewhere. The problem now is, the closer tests and exams get, the less time I have to put aside to working out, and I can't let my grades suffer to go to the gym everyday. I am doing my best, but right now I have two exams at the end of this week, so academics are definitely going to be my focus. If I stick to the schedule I have made for myself I should be able to get in at least 30 minutes a day in. This plan could be quickly squandered if I wake up tomorrow feeling just as bad as I do tonight. Bleeehhhh.
I really need to get right with God again. I can say that this week I have tried to read my Bible but it would be a lie. This is also very painful to admit. I feel like for a while I have been very strong in my faith, but I just haven't been able to continue to grow closer to God like I used too. Sometimes I just get so sidetracked that when I have time to read I simply don't. I want to start moving in my relationship with God again, but it is hard for me because I either don't know how too, or I don't want too. The condition of my heart is either not right, or I am just unwilling to give it to him right now. I need to figure out what piece of my heart that I'm holding onto. I am strong in my beliefs but not strong in my faith right now. I hope to change that this week, with God's help.
Now I know so far this blog post has been pretty depressing, but I don't want you to think my whole week sucked, it didn't, it's been pleasant! It's just as far as my eating, exercise, and faith go, I have been less than thrilled to say the least. I have had a lot of fun with my friends this week, I have met so many new people and have grown closer to the friends that I already had. It is exciting for me to see new relationships start and old ones continue to grow.
On a much happier note, I am pretty sure I dominated my math test this week, I find out what I got on Wednesday so if it is good I will be posting about it for sure. And I really do love this school. I am so happy here and I love all of the people that I have met and I really feel like this school is perfect for me. I love it here, for sure!
Now if I can just beat this sickness. That's all for this week!
This week as far as eating healthy has been rough. I have eaten french fries on multiple occasions and have gone over my calorie limit almost everyday. I still haven't had soda, and I've been doing good about the sugar. It's the grease that is the problem. Nothing tastes better to me than a warm hamburger with melted cheese and all the good stuff, with a side of greasy hot fries and ketchup and honey mustard. But, because I have been so busy this week (not sure what exactly I've been busy doing, everything is such a blur right now) I have been eating dinner after the Nautilus Market has closed, and have had no other option than to go to Papa John's which is right next to my residence hall.
This is painful to type. This week I have had:
1 cheese pizza
1 garden fresh pizza
1 cinnapie
2 boxes of Macaroni and Cheese
3 servings of Fries
3 servings of Fried Chicken
1 trip to TCBY
and to top it all off 1 hamburger from the Market.
Wow, writing it out like that puts it in perspective. Looking at my eating habits this week shows me both how far I have come, and how easy it is to slip back into my old eating habits. Usually, if I wasn't sick, I would be craving some french fries or leftover cake or brownies or a big bag of Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and queso. And I would probably be pigging out right now. But the fact that I know that I can stay up late working on homework or studying, and NOT pig out is a huge accomplishment. And even though the stuff I have been eating this week hasn't been good for me, the amount I eat is significantly less. I usually eat something really small for breakfast, like fruit and coffee, and then have a larger lunch and dinner. Something else I have figured out, it has a lot to do with the time that I eat. If I eat dinner at 5 pm, work on an assignment until 11 or 12, I'm starving by the time I go to bed. So by eating later, say around 7 or 8, I am able to curve those cravings a bit.
But still, seeing all of the bad things I ate last week still sucks. But this week will be a new week.
I haven't been doing so well on the exercise either. I went to the gym 4 times this week, only 4 times! Mostly due to being busy, but I know I can find time in my schedule somewhere. The problem now is, the closer tests and exams get, the less time I have to put aside to working out, and I can't let my grades suffer to go to the gym everyday. I am doing my best, but right now I have two exams at the end of this week, so academics are definitely going to be my focus. If I stick to the schedule I have made for myself I should be able to get in at least 30 minutes a day in. This plan could be quickly squandered if I wake up tomorrow feeling just as bad as I do tonight. Bleeehhhh.
I really need to get right with God again. I can say that this week I have tried to read my Bible but it would be a lie. This is also very painful to admit. I feel like for a while I have been very strong in my faith, but I just haven't been able to continue to grow closer to God like I used too. Sometimes I just get so sidetracked that when I have time to read I simply don't. I want to start moving in my relationship with God again, but it is hard for me because I either don't know how too, or I don't want too. The condition of my heart is either not right, or I am just unwilling to give it to him right now. I need to figure out what piece of my heart that I'm holding onto. I am strong in my beliefs but not strong in my faith right now. I hope to change that this week, with God's help.
Now I know so far this blog post has been pretty depressing, but I don't want you to think my whole week sucked, it didn't, it's been pleasant! It's just as far as my eating, exercise, and faith go, I have been less than thrilled to say the least. I have had a lot of fun with my friends this week, I have met so many new people and have grown closer to the friends that I already had. It is exciting for me to see new relationships start and old ones continue to grow.
On a much happier note, I am pretty sure I dominated my math test this week, I find out what I got on Wednesday so if it is good I will be posting about it for sure. And I really do love this school. I am so happy here and I love all of the people that I have met and I really feel like this school is perfect for me. I love it here, for sure!
Now if I can just beat this sickness. That's all for this week!
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